You were always beautiful, you know
With your Dark brown eyes and always parted lips
Your eyes held such warmth but it was always behind the cold
You're barely tamed hair, matching your eyes
Your voice was like velvet to me, so smooth and deep
You were like a statue, looming above me, but it was like shade from the too-bright sun
Your skin was the colour of buttermilk, so beautiful and smooth
You look like you were carved from marble
You had the best smile, crooked like there was always a hidden joke or thought behind it
I have never seen you laugh, not really
It's so sad.
I wanted to make you laugh
Your figure was perfection, ha your still such a tease
Your walk was my favourite though,
I always see you in front of me!
With your too-narrow hips and sashay type walk...
Your so masculine, but dear, your walk was the opposite
It was like a cat slinking through the night, sexy but at the last minute you would trip,
And I would vibrate with laughter
Your hands, your hands are an art form of their own
Long and slender, but that didn't matter
You play the most beautiful things with those creatures
Running along countless keys and strings
But its sad, its such sad beauty when you were trying to play those things
I didn't feel one ounce of emotion, I suspect neither did you, not a real one
It was a book without characters, a sentence without words
At least before I could watch from afar
your so lost,
Bonne nuit Belle, you said to me, you never even spoke french!
Vous tromper...
But you still made my whole body tingle with adoration,
For you
I just know it.
It never progressed further than an exchange of words
maybe i'm the tromper

I spend my life waiting
For what I won't accept.
But I crave and want it all the same
I am starving for the contact
Of who I will turn away from
Of who I will run blindly into the night for to save
Without speaking a word to after
Like watching a flower you've grown, about to bloom
But stolen away and your forced to watch it bloom with another
But you know it was by your own admission and you simply stopped and watched the crime
It is a crime of the heart
And sometimes scars cause more damage than insight

I feel an itch
A scratch
An Inferno of ice
Oh, and It's eating
It's eating me away
It's consuming my stained heart and tainted mind
And I have seen what I have locked away for so long
Almost as if my instance has spread like a plague to an innocent source to taint it with
How I was supposed to be consumed
Might be consuming another
A box I have created to hide this in is so large that it has flattened those unsuspecting surrounding it
It should have been me
It's going to be me
But this time it will strike like a black serpent, ready to infect me with a bite, because I had chained this serpent up for too long
But I know now, my time is ticking, the clock is tolling
It's different how this plague effects me and how it inadvertently affects others
For me,
It will be a matter of seconds, minutes
before that last thread snaps
And  will drive myself into the red sea, only to sink and not ever float
And I will burn in that unfortunate haze in that oven
Screaming for it to end and not for it to be stopped
I hand myself to you now
Your reading this I hope
And this, this is a person who is waiting for the inferno to consume her
Just standing by, waiting
Because, there is no escape
I will accept it with a smile on my face before it starts to singe my hair
And then the fire will errupt
It's lurking in me somewhere
Like a disease
Somewhere, someone will read this and I will be gone
Gone
This might be the writing of a corpse
A stranger to you
A stranger I will have become to myself